Past Time to Say Goodbye to Two and a Half Men

Two and a Half Men needs to follow in the footsteps of the former main character- it needs to die.

I felt this way during the last season and the firing of Charlie Sheen further cemented the deal. Charlie had regressed to the point of annoyance, Alan went from quirky to a thorn in the side and Jake might as well have been nonexistent. It was no longer two and a half men living in a house. It was three overly simplified brats under one roof. Any potential storylines were lost, like the issue of the paternity of Judith’s daughter (though it could come up the day Alan is free from child support only to discover he has to pay for the baby). Now with Sheen gone, Ashton Kutcher has found his way onto the show as a rich yet somewhat ditzy stud.

It’s difficult to replace the lead character of any TV show. When Topher Grace left That 70’s Show, I knew it should have ended. So much of the show’s plot relied on the Eric/Donna storyline. Two and a Half Men needed Sheen to keep the basic premise of the show intact. Now Alan isn’t leeching from his brother. Instead, it appears that he will somehow leech off a stranger. Jake isn’t forcing his uncle’s softer side out, he’s just a fart joke supplier (seriously, that’s all he did in the premier, fart and talk about food).

The show just isn’t funny anymore.

The funeral for Charlie Harper was reminiscent of the funeral he imagined when his friend Andy died (played by Emilio Estevez). All we needed was Charlie’s wish fulfilled that James Earl Jones spoke at the service.

The scene itself was tacky. While it’s in line with the show to make inappropriate comments at such an event, it went a touch too far. We all know about Sheen’s comments. Many wouldn’t be watching the premiere if he hadn’t made them. To continue to make remarks about it was unnecessary. We all understood the point they were trying to make. In addition, the John Stamos and “Dharma and Greg” bits were horrible and dry.

The season premiere felt awkward. Ashton Kutcher had his moments, but his naïve and moronic comments were fair to reminiscent of Michael Kelso on That 70's Show. While Kutcher plays a good idiot, he needs to escape that persona if the show is going to work (and it won’t).

There were some positives to the premiere. Evelyn’s smooth transition from chastising those who were insulting Charlie at the funeral to a real estate pitch was perfect for the character. It fit so well. In addition, Berta’s couple of quips, like “I’m not cleaning him up,” brought a touch of the show’s original appeal into the episode.

This season doesn’t look good. Despite the best efforts by Jon Cryer and the rest of the cast, Two and a Half Men just doesn’t work without Sheen. The soul of the series doesn’t allow it.